“You should have seen the other fellow!”
Now fellows this is what a real man looks like after a hard day’s work! And to those f…ing academics whining over their exhausting jobs I’ve only got 2 word, “Bloody hell”!!! Go tell someone who gives a crap about your fancy education and car that only have cost you your entire life or you can finally decide to do something with your and come and join our humble association, because fellows this is living. When you actually can feel the empty spot between you “noggers” after a good fight or the adrenaline pumping to hide the pain from your broken nose, what more can a bloke wish for. Jolly good it is! Of course I’ve grown way too old, experienced and hardened to have any use of this so called adrenaline anymore, nowadays it’s all pure heart, but yesterday’s fight I must say almost got to me. A “brill” fight and without miscounting, which the booze probably forces me to do, I would say that I delivered no less than at least 23 “kicks in the Jacksons” worth counting for, however the punch I received from that chubby chaser, that gormless wuss, who never should be allowed to call himself a football fan (probably the reason why he cheers for Charlton), I must admit was a fantastic strike. Right on the spot, cracked my nose in a “whiff”, but on the other hand I wouldn’t bet my money on him walking for a week if I were you. Bloody hell! Probably gave the poor bloke the lesson of his lifetime! Will be “wee-weeing” blood for ages, poor man, didn’t know better. No one picks a fight with papa Gawain Nosworthy and walks away with his dignity intact, especially not on home ground!
Nah, fellows I’m off for tonight, need to “see a brown friend out to the coast” and the old “swamp donkey” needs to be fed, no surprise there! And, oi lads, don’t forget the big game on Friday, I’ll be bringing ye old knuckleduster! Be there! Gawain out…
Slang dictionary:
• “Noggers” - Gaddar, tänder
• “Brill” - Härlig, brilliant
• “The Jacksons” - De manliga genitalierna
• “Gormless wuss” - Fjolla, mes
• “See a brown friend out to the coast” - Bajsa, skita, slå en nia
• “Swamp donkey” - Kärring, ful kvinna
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